djhoan -ex princess.

Sunday, 13 January 2008

its been four f*ckin' days now since the 'big news' has been revealed.until now, i dont have clear answers from my multi-million questions.two thousand and seven has been one hell of a year and i thought that two thousand and eight will be a better year for me, but unfortunately, it was'nt.

question: why are you keepin' your silence?why is it that i dont see or feel any effort of you reaching out to me?

are u expecting me to do the first move?to text u or call you first?well, i dont think so. this time im not doing it and you know the bloody reason why.

but maybe, its also the right thing that we dont communicate yet, because im not yet ready and im sure you'll never gonna like the words that will be coming out of my mouth. although, i know we need to talk and clear things that YOU need to clear, but at this very moment, i dont give a f*ck to what are you going to say, after all that has happened..

all this things that are happening right now, just reminded me of the things that we've talked about..in case you come across my blog here, ill just give you a hint of what are those:

first, the talked we had at padispoint?the serious talked we had? that time i felt so comfortable, i felt free and happy..i felt that the feelings and the converstion was soo 'REAL'. we talked about everything and most importantly, we talked about US.

second, still the same place. again, we talked about us and you know what's killing me right now?is the fact that i always thought about you singing a song for me on the stage and you told me that the song was for me and that you mean it!!!. what the hell was that?was that a joke?if it is, its not funny.>

i dont pretend and i dont hide my feelings.im not gonna pretend that everything's ok when its not, im not gonna pretend that im happy coz then again im f*ckin' not. its just so hard because i dont know where to turn to? i dont know who to talk to..im lucky because i have my son with me, he takes away all the pain i have right now..i dont want to think of anything or anybody right now, im gonna live my life one step at a time. thank God that my son is still a kid who does'nt know yet how to ask questions..hay!!

im not blogging this to seek attention from all of you, this is just my way to burst all my emotions.i hope you all understand.thanks.xoxo

PS. we went to padispoint because we're bored sa hauz and its near our place. its not a gimik or nytout..i just want to make it clear..Ü

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